One more Chance
by Spookysstarbuck
Summary: Parker becomes a letter, very unexpected ...
1. part 1

Note: So here the whole blessing for the idea goes to Andrea, she knows why and she knows that she has written one of the most amazing X-File stories I have ever read - so thanks Andrea : ) Disclaimer: you know they are all mine because of their behaviours Rating: PG13 // NC 17 (there will be two versions when its finished) Author: Mary Eve Parker ( mary_eve_parker@yahoo.com )  
  
  
  
ONE MORE CHANCE  
  
by Mary Eve Parker  
  
=== PART ONE ===  
  
I haven't had seen Jarod in weeks, not one syllabi from him, and yes it starts to bother me. Normally he disturbed my sleep every night, not that this bothered me- I mean that I was able to sleep in one piece. But something happened and I didn't know what - this was what bothered me.  
  
I was at the Centre, sitting in my chair, waiting for somebody to step in but nobody came. I went for lunch and good glass of bourbon and headed back to my office. And there I found the letter which should change my life completely.  
  
"Dear Ms. Parker My name is Mr. McKandrick and I am the lawyer of Editha Burgham. She died in an car accident this week and I would beg you to come to the will reading on Saturday 4th at 3pm. Sincerely, Andrew McKandrick"  
  
"What shall this be and who is Editha Burgham?" I thought and than I remembered - she was a friend of mine. Well if you can call it a friend. She sent me Christmas Cards and stuff like that since I moved from the one house to the other. We have had been in school together - god I am getting old.  
  
I heard a knocking and wasn't surprised that it was Sydney who walked into my office.  
  
"What happened?" he asked me. Did I look as shocked as I was and pale? Seemed to me like it. I handed him the piece of paper and he read it.  
  
"She went to school with you" he remembered. "I know Sydney but we haven't seen in ages." I added. "Hm . seems like she has something ." " I know Sydney." "And what's the problem?" "I haven't even been at her wedding three years ago. God I think I was behind Jarod in Utah or was it South Carolina, I cant remember - when she married." I took a deep breath "I just send a card that I was sorry not to be there."  
  
~*~**~*~  
  
I think I was thinking about this letter the rest of the day, and how should I get over this week without turning crazier than I already was? It was just Thursday today.  
  
This day I went out of the Centre early and did some shopping. I had to get a clear head again and shopping was just the right thing here - spend money on things I wouldn't even wear, things which would be stored in the back of my closet. The last time I bought two pair of faded blue jeans and a cotton print blouse, but for which occasion should I wear it? Folks would think I am absolutely down when I would go to work this way.  
  
This time it was something a little more fancy, Victoria's Secret. Underwear was always good to have, even if there wasn't a guy to make a fashion show for. But who cares? You have to take care of yourself, haven't you?  
  
But I was still thinking about the letter and what she might left me - a picture, maybe a yearbook.  
  
When I came home I picked the yearbooks out from a box under the roof, to have a look at Editha. She had been a beautiful girl, I remembered, but the boys were always behind me. Editha and I have had a lot of fun fooling around a little and making the boys nice eyes.  
  
She went to Seattle after law school and I went to Blue Cove, back *home*. She married and that was what I knew.  
  
  
  
~*~**~*~  
  
The phone was ringing when I opened the door to my house and I grabbed it in a spring.  
  
"What?" I asked, as usual. "Are you Ms Parker?" I heard from the other side of the line. "Yes I am Ms Parker and who are you when I am allowed to ask.", I was still able to be formal and not only and always harsh. "I am Mr. Andrew McKandrick the lawyer of ." "Editha Burgham" "Well I see you got my letter." "Yes I got it yesterday." "Okay well its just the matter of fact that the hearing and reading is in Renton." "In Renton, Washington?" I was stunned and unfolded the letter which was laying on the coffee table. "I thought it would be in Washington DC" I added. "As a matter of fact its in Renton." "Is it important that I come at all?" "Yes its very important for you to be here, nothing is more important. The best would be if you could come with your . sorry it would be the best if you cold be at 753 Redmond Avenue at around 9 - you cant miss it, it's a big creamy house." "Okay I have written this address down. I will try to get a flight today at night, so I will be there in the morning." "Thank you Ms Parker, I will see you." "Yes I will see you tomorrow morning."  
  
So that was it! I have had to get a flight to Seattle today at night. God I just came home from work, and thanks to got that I came home earlier than usually because of not I would missed this call.  
  
What will this be in Renton? What should all this be? What was this about?  
  
I went the kitchen and got myself a glass of Bourbon with ice, sat down at the coffee table, and slowly let myself lay down on the sofa.  
  
I think it was the moment when I drifted away the telephone rang again. "Hello?" I asked this time, just in case it could be the lawyer again. "Hello Miss Parker" the family voice of Jarod greeted me. "How are you doing? Why are you at home so early today?" he asked. "Well Jarod I was well before you called me because I was asleep but I am used to your calls when I am asleep and to your second question, you haven't have left something during the last weeks, so I don't have any work to do." Why did I say this in such an amused way? "Fine, sorry Parker I didn't want to wake you, I will later."  
  
"God Jarod . now I am awake so spill it out, why are you calling me?" "Okay that's not that easy to say Parker ." "There cant be something too worse actually." "Do you mean so?" than was a pregnant silence "I know you have to go to Renton." he added. "Hm . well Jarod greetings and salutations about this fact. Yes I am going to Washington tonight. Why do you care?" "I just know why you have to go." "Okay Jarod, this isn't funny anymore. Tell me why!" I said a little aggressive "please" I added fast. "I cant tell you too much just that you will heir something you wouldn't except to heir. I am not sure how you will take it but the surprise will more be a shock." Okay I was stunned, shocked and maybe a little in agony because of the loss of Editha without saying goodbye or something else during the last years. "And now take your nap Parker, you will need it!" I couldn't ask him what he meant with these last words, and I didn't worry. I just fell back to sleep.  
  
~*~**~*~  
  
"So we are landing now in Seattle, local time 9.58pm", the stewardess said "We hope that you have had a pleasant flight and that we will see you soon."  
  
I shifted in my seat. I couldn't wait to see what this would be tomorrow.  
  
When I had gotten my luggage I went to the small pension where I had called in for a room. Before I the flight from Blue Cove I told Sydney that I would have something to do in Los Angeles and my daddy that I would have to meet Adam - I don't know where Adam is - in Boston. So nobody would suspect me to go to Renton, except Jarod. Jarod. God what did he know what I didn't?  
  
I took a shower, creamed my body with a new crème I bought. Somehow I think it smelled like Jarod, but I cant remember what his scent was. It was long since I have smelled him. Stop thinking Parker, stop it.  
  
But the moment my head hit the pillow, my eyes closed, it started again. I saw him with Nia standing there. I haven't seen them together but her and I knew that she was his first sexual contact, I felt it. I saw them standing there in the woods in the National park, holding each other kissing, sometimes in this dream they were making love or touching, but not this time.  
  
I tried to control myself with deep breath and thinking about something different - Thomas. But it didn't work. I laid my arm above my eyes and smelled it again - Jarod. God can I never forget him and his childish games? This dream was like a movie. You couldn't screw things up, you have to stop at a point or at the end. Sometimes the phone rang before they start touching, sometimes I had to go through all of it. Being jealous? That's the question I asked myself most. I didn't have an answer for it. Yes, Jarod was a part of my life but a complicate one. ~*~**~*~  
  
When I fell asleep it must have been a lot after midnight. The radio started at 7, so that I would have enough time to make my hear and find the right street.  
  
If somebody would ask me if I am nervous I would lie but honestly said I was more than nervous. Somebody could kill me just coming from behind.  
  
I made my hair - pulled it back in a French knot than came make up. It was agony. I couldn't decide between full mascara or just on the eyelid. Normally I never have problems like that. And my hands were shivering and that didn't make things easier. At all - what should I do? I couldn't change the world. Shit, this was also one of Jarod's favourite quotes. Get him out of your head - I told myself again. After powder and dark red lipstick I decided to be fine and look okay. It wasn't my best work today, but well.  
  
I had a look on my watch which was still on the dresser and noticed that it was shortly after 8, so I had to hurry. I asked the lady at the counter where I got my take away coffee where the street would be and she showed me on a copied map.  
  
~*~**~*~  
  
It was nearly nine and I was sitting in the car in front of the house. I couldn't get out of the car. My knees were like jelly and my hands shaking, my skin cold. When I heard the church bells ringing nine I collected myself and got out of the car. Slowly made my way to the door and rang the bell. It was just about a second when a tall man in a dark grey suit opened the door. I haven't studied the house before I went in, when I was thinking in the car. It seemed to not too big but comfortable. I felt a little overdressed. Most of the people here were in simple black dress suits, even the children.  
  
"So and you are Ms. Parker I adjust?" he asked me and the voice was familiar to me - the lawyer. "Hello. Yes I am Ms Parker Mr. McKandrick" I stumbled. "Come in and take a place. We have just been waiting for you." I had a look at my watch - it was just nine and everybody was more than on time than I was. I took a seat at the sofa and studied the little group of people standing around.  
  
"I hope everybody has a seat" he said and was standing behind a desk, obviously a working desk. "I know that this occasion is sad and that most of you want to grieve in silence, and don't want to be spoilt by the last wills of Mr. and Mrs. Burgham-Jacobs but a couple of important decisions have to made - as soon as possible." His voice was cold and monotone. "I was told by Mrs. Burgham-Jacobs that they don't want me to read the whole text out, word by word - just outline the facts. You can all have a close look on it afterwards." Many heads nodded in agreement, mine too. Incidents like this one were always sad and linked to a lot of mourning. Mr. McKandrick seemed to re-read his notices again before he started to read them out to us.  
  
"In fact that the parents of Editha Burgham-Jacobs died three years ago in a plane crash and Norman Burgham-Jacob was an orphan, is only one family member left - Ms Geraldine Burgham-Jacobs. But, like Mrs. Burgham-Jacobs wished, she should stay in the mental hospital and not be bothered by their deaths. So there are no family members left, that's why the second part of the Burgham-Jacob will, will be put into force."  
  
He made a pause and waited for any interjections, but there weren't one. I started to think who all those people were - friends mostly I think.  
  
"So, now the difficult part starts. There isn't a lot left honestly said. This house and the car will go to the bank because of the loans. The Burgham-Jacobs' had arranged that nobody would be in charge for their financial troubles."  
  
So why are all those people sitting around here now? They seem to know that there isn't any money left!?  
  
"Like I said there isn't much left." There was this pregnant pause again. He seemed to love making them. "The money on the saving account will go to Byron, Dana and Gillian Burgham-Jacobs when they will turn 21. And than there are two more accounts. One is for the education of the kids and the other one is for the coasts of the funeral."  
  
Another long break was taken. Byron, Dana and Gillian - who were they? Never heard of them. What am I doing here?  
  
"So and now we come to the main topic. They tell in their will that the decision hasn't been easy and that they had gone through several possibilities and decided that this one would be the best."  
  
Okay and what was so special?  
  
"I am sure that some of you might now know each other, some might but this isn't important in this case. I think that all of you want to know who will get them."  
  
Them? What's going on here?  
  
"Like I said the decision hasn't been easy for them but they decided that . that it would be the best for the children."  
  
Children?  
  
". for the children to live at and with . Ms. Maximilliana Parker"  
  
Shit. Shit. Shit.  
  
"Ms. Parker?" he asked me. "Yes sir" I said, but I wasn't sure if he had heard me. It seemed to be a whisper.  
  
I was sitting her in absolute disbelieve. I couldn't understand how somebody wants to give their children to me. Me, a female who wasn't even able to hold the right man. Or find a new right man. Or .  
  
I am not sure how long it took me to realise that the people were gone and that Mr. McKandrick and I were the only ones sitting in the living room.  
  
"Ms. Parker" he said again. "Yes." I just said. "Don't you want to see them?" he asked me. "Well . I am still shocked. I mean ." "If you don't want them, you just have to say no and they will go to a foster family and maybe will be adopted - *in some years*. But I cant *guarantee that they will stay together*."  
  
How he said this made me freeze. I couldn't destroy a family, not after such an event. But on the other hand I still had my job and all those chasing after Jarod wouldn't leave me much time for the kid.  
  
"I think its clear that I will take them. I cant think of letting them being separated." "Fine", he said with a smile. "You just have prove this in front of the social workers and the safe custody care in a couple of weeks." "What do you mean?" I asked him, being more lost than ever before. "They wont let you raise the kids if they think you aren't able to do it the right way." "And what does that mean?" "You have to show them stability and love, being around them and care for them - play holy family so to say." "Hm . well I think I can do that." "Well . this and that you should be married to hold them." "Marriage? Isn't that a lot . I mean I don't have a boyfriend at the moment and ." "You just have to marry someone and play house." he added sarcastically.  
  
Playing house wasn't easy, not with me. I was used to live alone. It was hard enough to care for me. I am not sure if I could care for a couple of teenagers.  
  
"Well I will figure things out and let you know what will be the best to be done in your situation." "Thanks Mr McKandrick." "You are welcome Ms Parker."  
  
~*~**~*~  
  
I think he saw that I didn't fell comfortable with this situation but I couldn't change the world.  
  
After a minute I saw the lawyer standing next to me. He wanted to go to the children with me, show me them.  
  
"They are in the in their rooms." he said and we went upstairs.  
  
The house wasn't big but clean and seemed cosy to me. It will be hard to get them out of it.  
  
"So this is Byron's room." he said and opened the door.  
  
The boy was sitting on the floor playing with his wooden trains, making hissing noises. He couldn't be more than 3 years old, if at all.  
  
"Byron?" Mr McKandrick said. "This is Ms. Maximilliana Parker." he added.  
  
I haven't heard my given name that often during the last years, not since mum was dead.  
  
"Just call me Max" I said and knelt down next to him, as good as my short skirt permitted it.  
  
"Hello Max" he said and nearly smiled at me, but it was a said smile. I am sure that he was told what happened.  
  
"So Byron how old are you?" I asked him softly. "Nearly three" he said and made another circle with the train.  
  
"Will you be okay if I leave you for a minute a look for your sisters?" I asked the small boy and he nodded.  
  
God a three year old, it couldn't get must worse - I thought.  
  
"And this here is Gillian and ." "Dana's room I assume." I cut him off.  
  
He opened the door and I had my first glimpse into the room. God. No. That couldn't be true. Shit. No. Please.  
  
"How old are they?" I asked him when I saw the babies in their cribs sleeping.  
  
"Nearly 8 weeks." he said, and I heard the sad tone in his voice. God, 8 week old toddlers.  
  
"You have to know that they stayed with the babysitter because Editha and Norman had to run some errands. They were nearly home when a truck hit them and they crashed into another truck. It was awful, I saw the pictures." he looked at me. "I would understand if you couldn't take the kids. I mean you didn't seem to be very close to her."  
  
I nodded. "I haven't seen her for a long time. We both went into different directions after we finished law school." I caught myself thinking about how they would live in a foster family. "But Editha wanted me to take care of her kids and I will give my best." I added. I couldn't believe that I have said this - but somehow I felt guilty for not attending her wedding years ago.  
  
"You will have to move them out of the till Tuesday" "Tuesday?" I asked in mistrust. "Yes, the bank wants the house to be sold at an auction on Wednesday." "That's a little fast, even for me." "Well Ms Parker, I hope your hotel room is big enough for those kids or you will sleep here because I have to leave you now." "What?" I inquired. "I don't know how to deal with kids, especially not with such young ones." "There is enough food stored in the fridge and I would say it's the best you learn fast how to deal with them." he nearly turned away. "The girls usually wake up all three hours to get their bottle and Byron doesn't like mashed carrots he told me."  
  
And than he was away.  
  
And I was standing in this light pink room.  
  
Not able to think what I will do next.  
  
~*~**~*~ END PART ONE ~*~**~*~  
  
want more? let me know: mary_eve_parker@yahoo.com 


	2. part 2

Note: So here the whole blessing for the idea goes to Andrea, she knows why and she knows that she has written one of the most amazing X-File stories I have ever read - so thanks Andrea : ) Disclaimer: you know they are all mine because of their behaviours Rating: PG13 // NC 17 (there will be two versions when its finished) Author: Mary Eve Parker ( mary_eve_parker@yahoo.com )  
  
  
  
ONE MORE CHANCE  
  
by Mary Eve Parker  
  
=== PART TWO ===  
  
I was asleep on the sofa in the girl's room when I heard a soft whimpering coming from next door. Why me? I asked myself all the time. I couldn't believe that I should take care of three kids. Me, a person who was more than unable to control or take care of herself should now take care of three lovely children. Why me?  
  
Slowly I got up and went to Byron's room. The boy was awake, standing at the window crying. I stood in the doorframe watching him. "Byron?" I tried to ask softly. He slowly turned around and stared at me. I haven't seen a little boy staring like that for quite a long time. Okay never seen something like that before. He seemed smaller than he was in his soft blue pyjamas and more fragile. Byron was still staring at me. I think it could only have been a second, when I felt him around my legs. Hugging them and crying.  
  
What should I do?  
  
I have never collected any experiences around kids. I think I took care Debbie once, but just for two hours and she was much older than Bryan.  
  
Slowly I got down and he grabbed the straps of my bra. Yeah I was sleeping in underwear. I told myself that I couldn't wear something that their dead parents had worn, beside Editha was a couple of inches smaller than me. He grabbed them and laid his head on my shoulder, his arms around my neck, when he felt my arms around him, he started to calm down a little - that's how I carried him to bed.  
  
"So what's up Byron?" I asked him when I sat down on the small bed. He sat in my lap, his head buried between my breasts, his arms still around me. I started to move back and forth slowly, my hands caressing his back.  
  
But he was still crying and I couldn't stop my tears. The boy was grieving because of the fact that his mum wasn't there, nor his daddy and I has had nothing better to do than be angry all afternoon and night because I should take care of them.  
  
What was this with me? I was really not the right person to take care of those kids. Byron was really cute. He was everything I mother could wish for.  
  
He was still crying, his one hand laying about my breast, the other one on my hip. "Do you want to tell me what is bothering you little man?" I asked softly during caressing his back.  
  
"Coming back?" he just whispered during sobbing. "Byron they aren't coming back, that's why I am here now. I will take care of you!" I whispered and my heart was nearly breaking. How should I handle things like that? How should I ever be a good mother?  
  
"Why aren't they coming back? Are they mad at me because I ruined the vase last week?" He said and sobbed again. "No they aren't mad at you, they just cant come back." "Why?"  
  
I had thought that somebody had told him, maybe at least a little bit of this story. I mean I didn't knew any details - till the moment I just knew that they were killed in a car crash.  
  
"Byron they were killed in a car crash" I said and waited for something from him, but there wasn't a move, a word or a sob. I looked at him and he was just staring at the lace of my bra, not making a move.  
  
"Will you also be there for Gilly and Dana?" he asked suddenly. "Sure, we will be together, all four of us." I answered.  
  
God this was hard. He was so little and such an event, the death of the parents, is very coining - I think I knew that - and he was so much younger than I was when Momma died.  
  
"Don't you want to go back to bed and sleep a little?" "Can't you sleep here with me?" My heart was broken now. "No Byron I cant but I will leave the door open and the one at the girl's room too. If you need something you can come in and crawl in with me. Okay? I will need to feed the girls in a couple of minutes and I want you to sleep a little big man."  
  
I think this was all he needed before falling to sleep. I staid sitting there on the edge of the bed for a little while, studying his cute little, sleeping form. God I still couldn't believe that I was mother not, or at least host for kids as long as the court let them stay with me.  
  
~*~**~*~  
  
All in all I think I got about two hours sleep in a row. When I woke up in the morning, Byron was laying in front of me, my arm around his small frame. I think I haven't felt that groggy since I was absolute drunken and stayed in bed for two full days. A bed? Hm ..  
  
You can call the last night "the night of the nights" - the worst one I have ever been through, except puking a whole night at High School.  
  
When Gilly was asleep again, Dana wanted the bottle and this was the rota we were in. And some where in the morning, when both had fallen asleep, Byron must had come over. He was sleeping like an angel.  
  
But than I heard Gillian softly whimpering and I got up to take her out, not to wake the "big" brother.  
  
I put the baby monitor on and took it with me downstairs. Gilly was softly laying in my arm, staring at me with her baby blue eyes. She was so small. Her breathing was deep and regular.  
  
When I was downstairs, I sat on the sofa with the warmed bottle of milk. It was the first time she wasn't crying in my arms. Her incredible blue eyes were staring at me, while she sucked on the bottle. Dana was the one with the ash blond hair, Gilly was more reddish. But they were both looking like angels.  
  
While she was drinking, I started to think about a way to handle this. My job and taking care of the kids. We would have to leave the house on Monday.  
  
Suddenly my mobile phone was ringing softly. I had turned the sound down, but it was still loud enough to break the silence, and to get Dana cry again.  
  
"Hello?" I asked softly, not wanting to disturb Dana's drinking. "Where is the usual 'what?'" the familiar voice asked me - Jarod. "Well I think the 'what' has a nice weekend, like I have." I said sarcastically. "Hm well Parker . what about being in Renton? " "Well everything is fine so far." I looked down at Dana and tucked the little blanket more around her. "Why are you so interested into Renton?" "I know why you had to show up." "Fine . whatever." "Will you take them?" "Hm..?" "You know as well as I do what I am talking about Parker." "Well I am not sure what you are talking about." "Editha's children." he said and made a pause "Gillian, Dana and cutie Byron." "What?" I asked harshly. How could he know so much about them? "I thought this word is on holiday" he teased me. "Its your fault that this word is back." I said aggressive. Than there was a big silence. Dana's sucking was the only voice. God I was tired. The shock from yesterday morning and than the nearly sleepless night was tiring me out.  
  
Than I heard a knocking on the door. I jumped. I went to the door, Dana still suckling in my arms. I opened the door. Guess who was standing there with his mobile in his hand? Guess? I couldn't believe it. Jarod.  
  
In a fast move he stepped in. I wasn't able to say a word. Without saying something he took Dana out of my arm and told me "Get decent Parker and take a shower - you need it."  
  
Thanks Jarod. A woman needs a shower, what a compliment. I was just standing there, staring at Jarod. He was wearing faded blue jeans and a white t-shirt. Somehow unfamiliar light for Jarod.  
  
"Thanks" I just said and went upstairs. In front of the bath mirror I realised that I was just wearing black lace underwear.  
  
~*~**~*~  
  
When I came back downstairs again, he sat at the kitchen table with Byron and Gilly in his arm. He smiled at me.  
  
"Thank you Jarod." I whispered when I got myself a seat and took a gulp of the coffee, which was waiting for me. Byron was eating cereals and drinking cacao, Gillian sleeping in his arm. Where was Dana? I looked around in the room and noticed the sleeping form on the sofa, in a softly made bed of cushions. I had to smile. I couldn't resist.  
  
"Wanna more" Byron said and pointed to his cacao. "Sure honey." I said and got up to make some more. "Don't Parker, I will do it. Just take a seat and relax." "Thanks Jarod. I don't deserve this help." "You do and you know that." "I don't deserve it. I don't deserve these kids either." He turned around and faced me. "You do Parker. I will not be easy but you will be a good mother to them."  
  
I smiled at him. Byron was staring at me, somehow shocked. Jarod had used the word mother in connection with me in this sentence in front of this little boy. Byron jumped down from the kitchen chair and ran into his room. His short legs made him nearly fall over a couple of stairs, just to be faster than me. I followed him. He was standing at the window, crying. "They will never come back?" he asked me, his eyes red from crying. "No Byron, unfortunately not. But they are taking care of you in another, special way. Look up into the sky" I knelt down beside him to be at the same height. "At night when you see a star, you know that they are looking down at you." I said and tears were building up in my eyes. "They are angels now, looking down from haven."  
  
~*~**~*~  
  
I don't know how long it took me till I was able to calm Byron really down. Since this minute, I told him that his parents would be angels, he never moved away from my side.  
  
I slowly went downstairs. Maybe it was already lunch time. Byron was asleep. After crying he fell asleep in my arms and I brought him to bed. God, I knew how hard these days are.  
  
Downstairs I found both babies asleep, Jarod was away.  
  
M.M.P, You know that the truth is out there J.  
  
I smiled and started to clean up the kitchen.  
  
~*~**~*~  
  
Time was running. Sunday went over like water is running down a waterfall. It was night and I haven't had the change to do any packing. Or at least thing what to do next. Plan my next step.  
  
Just one thing was sure - the Centre will not be allowed to decide what to do for me. I will hide this kids as good as possible. Life has to go on. Also for these kids.  
  
~*~**~*~  
  
The night was like the one before. Only Byron was sleeping with me all night long. He was frightened and shuddering when he went to bed, so I told him to go to the sleeping sofa in his sister's room.  
  
In the morning I called for a packing company and arranged some important appointments in Blue Cove.  
  
I was still wondering how Jarod could know all those things and why he was there to help me so suddenly and that I felt somehow uncomfortable around him. He wasn't the guy anymore who was my friend when I was a child.  
  
While I drank my cup of coffee Byron told me what he would like to have in his new room. I have had managed to tell him that we have to leave this house and move to the other side of the States. He didn't seem to be very disappointed, just wondered.  
  
I packed the toys and cloths of Byron, and some books I have found in the parent's room. Books telling me how to deal with children, books who should be able to help me.  
  
Byron packed his stuffed animals into boxes, taking care that none of them could get hurt - so we needed more boxes than I had counted. There was only enough room for about 8 animals per box because they couldn't stay one on top of the other. I just had to laugh about this.  
  
It was harder with the girls. I told the company to take only their cribs with them, and I also wanted to get rid of them. I don't want that Byron is reminded all the time, when he goes into his sisters' room, that his parents were dead.  
  
Out of a catalogue Byron and I ordered some furniture for his room and his sisters. He told me that he doesn't like blue walls, so we decided to let them be paint in yellow. And the walls in the room of Gillian and Dana should be in crème with little teddy bears.  
  
He wanted a race car bed and he got it. I wasn't good in sports or stuff like that so we decided to take simple things. He just wanted a Bulls t- shirt and he got it. Why not?  
  
For his sister's room I ordered a classic changing table made out of oak and in the same wood new cribs, a rocking chair, two drawer systems and a bookshelf. I also got the fireplace re-activated.  
  
Many things had to change. I asked a friend a friend who worked at the CIA if he could take care of the fact that there could be bugs and hidden cameras in my house. And on Monday evening, shortly before I started to pack the kids into their travelling cloths - he called me to tell me that he had found several bugs, hidden in sockets.  
  
~*~**~*~  
  
I told Byron that we would leave now and he didn't say a word to me. I just looked back once to the house. There was no tear and now grieve. Maybe all this was happening this way because the funeral had taken place on the day after the accident and the kids were left alone at home with another babysitter.  
  
I got the twins in two special carrying seats, Byron on my hand and so I went to the airport. All the luggage was carried by the taxi driver. He had seen that it was impossible for me to carry them all. He tried to flirt with me, and normally I would have flirted with him too because he was the type of men I liked. Normally. But now I wasn't alone anymore. I was mother of three kids now. Suddenly.  
  
The stewardesses shot me some strange looks when I got on the plane. Maybe because the girls were just eight weeks old, or because of Byron. He didn't say a word from Seattle to Blue Cove.  
  
~*~**~*~  
  
At home everything was arranged. I signed the papers and went into my new house, new because nothing was as I had left it on Friday night.  
  
My life had changed. And it was one more chance to do the right things instead of living a life who wasn't mine.  
  
It had been a long day and I brought Gillian and Dana to their room. It was the one next to mine, so that I could hear them cry if they would. Byron's room was my old guest room. It was the room near the second bathroom. There was now still one room left, one nobody was sleeping in. I had planned to turn this one into the guestroom. It was too small for a nursery even if it was the lightest rooms of all.  
  
When I came down to get something to eat, Jarod was standing in the doorframe.  
  
"What do you want here Jarod?" I asked him tired. "I want to help you." "Why should I trust you." I said harshly and tied my robe tighter around my small, tired frame. "Just do it Parker, trust me once in your life." I nodded and got myself a glass of milk. "No Vodka today?" he asked me sarcastically and eyed me with a smile. "Doesn't look like Vodka to me lab rat." "Oh we are back in Blue Cove and so your behaviour - typically. How could I even think that children would change you."  
  
Jarod turned around and while he went out of the house he said laud, "Well Max we'll see in Alaska."  
  
When the door closed behind him, I threw the half full milk glass against the front door. How could he talk like that to me? How could he .  
  
I went to the kitchen and got myself my bottle of Vodka out of the freezer and some eyes and sat down in front of my TV set. I don't know when I had turned it on the last time. I found the controller and zapped around a little while I was drinking my usual portion of liquid.  
  
"Fox Mulder" the man on the TV told a lady next to him, "Special Agent Fox Mulder." "Cute but not funny, honey" I said in my not anymore clear headed state of life. And a couple of minutes later he told this red head "The Truth is out There."  
  
I could only thing about the fact that tomorrow was a working day like every other day and that I had to deal with it. I got a Nanny for the kids and told Byron about it. He didn't seem to care about it. I was afraid that he could go to much into himself, not telling me what the matter was but on the other side this kid was just three years young. How could he deal like an adult?  
  
Nearly half the bottle was gone, Mulder was still telling the red head, I think Scully was her name, something about aliens and reality - and when he told her that they are on earth now, trying to test the human race - I decided that it was time to go to bed, with the knowledge that it would be another sleep less night.  
  
~*~**~*~ END PART TWO ~*~**~*~  
  
want more? let me know: mary_eve_parker@yahoo.com 


	3. part 3

Note: So here the whole blessing for the idea goes to Andrea, she knows why and she knows that she has written one of the most amazing X-File stories I have ever read - so thanks Andrea : ) Disclaimer: you know they are all mine because of their behaviours Rating: PG13 // NC 17 (there will be two versions when its finished) Author: Mary Eve Parker ( mary_eve_parker@yahoo.com )  
  
  
  
ONE MORE CHANCE  
  
by Mary Eve Parker  
  
=== PART THREE ===  
  
God I was tried. I haven't had any sleep, real sleep in days. Today was Tuesday and I thought that I will not survive this week. Nobody knows about my new situation, thanks god. Sometimes I feel that I should ask Broots for help, because he has a daughter. Debbie. But Debbie is much older than *mine*.  
  
So here I am sitting at my desk, legs in front of me, crossed on the table, nearly falling asleep and it was just 11 am. I don't know what to do, what will come next.  
  
Byron hasn't had any nightmares lately, so I got at least an hour two in a row to sleep but that all wasn't that easy. I knew that in a little time a social worker will knock on my door and ask me questions I will not be able to answer. I feel connected to these kids, even if I am sure that I will not be able to hold them for long. Not with a life like mine.  
  
After the last nights I have had decided that it would be easier to handle everything and get a little sleep if the girls would sleep in my bedroom. And it really was easier. Their cribs were next to my bed and so I got more used to the nightly routine.  
  
Byron had been cute waking me in the morning. It was around seven when he showed up, I think. Slowly he climbed into my bed, he must have been really calm because I haven't notice him before he placed a wet and slimy kiss on my cheek. I just turned around, just wanted to get a little more sleep - and turning around I took him with me and he started to giggle. It had been the first time that I saw him giggling and happy since we moved to Blue Cove. "G'morning" he said during giggling. And slowly I started to tickle him a little and he started to laugh and tickle me back. It was fun, I haven't thought that having kids could be such a lot of fun.  
  
We had breakfast, the Nanny came and after another wet and slimy kiss Byron let me go to work.  
  
The telephone brought me now back to reality.  
  
"What?" I asked as lovely as ever. "What did you want from me darling?" "Oh Daddy . I just wanted to ask if its okay that I make shorter days. My ulcer is showing up more often than ever before and the doctors told me that I should relax a little more often." "Is it that bad?" he asked me and I wondered that he was really interested into my life and medical career. "Yes daddy, I haven't slept in days." I took a deep breath "and at nights it's the worst" "Take the day off Angel and get some rest. Tell Syd that if they have any lead they should call you at home. Okay, so I don't want to see you here in an hour." "Thanks Daddy." I said.  
  
This had been easier than I thought it would be. Daddy wasn't even arguing with me - strange. But what do I want more than that?  
  
~~*~~  
  
Coming home from work today was like coming home after a year long absence. I opened the door and the same moment Byron came running into my arms. I couldn't stand it and started to cry.  
  
After I told Maria, the Nanny, that she could go home today a little earlier, I gave Byron the little present I had bought for him. We sat down on the sofa and I watched Gilly suckling on her thumb and Dana sleeping like an angel.  
  
"Thanks" he murmured when he started to let the small car go over the whole living room furniture he was able to reach. After a couple of hours, it must have been around five, he came back, dragging a bag behind him.  
  
"What's that Byron?" I asked him and pointed to the bag. "I should give this to you, but I have had forgotten it M." in exactly this moment he started to cry, the first time really bitterly.  
  
"Its okay darling, c'mere." I told him and he went into my hug. I was kneeling on the floor, next to the coffee table and Byron was sitting in my lap crying. I caressed his back like I did the very first time.  
  
"Everything is fine Byron." I whispered.  
  
He calmed down when he heard Gilly started to cry softly. God somehow I remembered why kids were such a lot of work and why they needed parents and not a crazy alcoholic playing mother. God knows I love this kid. He is special like the whole happening.  
  
"From whom is this present?" I asked Byron while rocking him in my lap. "Jarod." I was shocked.  
  
"You know Jarod?" I nearly whispered. Byron leaned against my chest, the thumb in his mouth like his little sister. He just nodded in response.  
  
I grabbed the bag from the floor and got it up the sofa. "Do we want to have a look into it?" I asked him.  
  
I let Byron open it and in the bag was a brown teddy bear with "Byron" on his name plate and a book - Moby Dick. God I have missed this book. Slowly I opened it and found a little note in it.  
  
Max, Read for him like you did for me Forever, J.  
  
~~*~~  
  
The day went on, I have had to change the ladies three times, twice after Byron was in bed. God it has been a day!  
  
I sat down at the sofa in my living room, lit the fire place and opened the book again. I couldn't believe that Jarod was doing that. He was the only one who could make me comfortable with the whole situation, the only one.  
  
Just to now that he was okay with all that pleasured me more than I could tell. I haven't had seen Jarod since Renton and somehow I missed him. I couldn't believe that I was thinking like that but I was really missing him, more than I have ever missed him. How easily he dealt with the children and I wondered how and from when and where Byron knew Jarod.  
  
The kids were sleeping, the baby monitor next to me. I went to the kitchen and than I recognised that my fridge was filed up, from the first drawer to the wine shelf on top. I wondered a little and got myself a glass of soda water with ice. I wasn't in the mood for Scotch or Bourbon - I wondered. With Moby Dick in the one hand and the Soda in the other one I went back to the sofa.  
  
I started to remember all the things about Captain Ahab and a little about Queequeec and the big white whale. How I read it out sitting next to Jarod. He could listen hours to me reading it for him. And I just read it for him. I was told that this book was missing after he escaped but I never thought that it had been important, not like this.  
  
Gilly seemed to get a little sick, maybe the first tooth? I haven't a clue about kids and they seem to grow so fast. I really should get a couple of books about motherhood. Being a mother? Me a mother? Nobody will ever call me mum, never. Never. Unfortunately.  
  
~~*~~  
  
Suddenly I felt myself pressed against a warm frame. I told myself not to open my eyes, just dream a little longer about the peace in this room, how calm it was. Just my breath and the one of the warm frame next to me. I felt pressed against it and the scent was familiar. I didn't care. Why should I? The warm arm around my waist didn't bother me. The warm hand next to my breast didn't bother me. The warm moister breath against my neck didn't bother me. The warm chest against my back didn't bother me. And the warm shoulder my head was resting on didn't bother me at all. God it felt good.  
  
I slowly wanted to get up but this frame didn't let me go. It pulled me more into him, letting me feel him and only him. It felt right, more than that. And I grabbed all my boldness together and wanted to ..  
  
Shit, why does this always happens in the wrong moment? Dana was crying.  
  
I got up, let this hand get off me and went to Dana. She was staring at me with her big blue eyes and smiling. She wasn't crying anymore. It was time to feet her and she knew that quite well. I changed her diapers on my commode and went downstairs into the kitchen to get a warm bottle of milk for her.  
  
I would never be able to nurse a baby. I will never be in the situation to nurse a baby. Shit.  
  
Tears were starting and while I gave her the bottle sitting on the sofa, staring out to the darkness of the sea, I let them run. Many years the fact that I wont never have kids didn't bother me. Why should it? I have never been in the situation to think about a family. I didn't even know what a family is before Saturday.  
  
~~*~~  
  
The next thing I remember is sleeping on the sofa in my satin pyjamas. Dana pressed against my chest, sleeping. She had nearly slept through the night. With me.  
  
I haven't even opened my eyes to hear the soft voices from the kitchen. "Don't wake Mamma" Jarod whispered - I think to Gillian, "she wont be nice if you do so." "Mamma?" I heard Byron say softly in a really questioning way. "Yes Byron. I explained you that your mum died in this car accident with your father . and they both wanted that Max would be your new Mamma." "But ." I heard Byron's voice with tears.  
  
"You don't have to call her Mamma Byron if you don't feel that this would be right." "I know Jarod .. she looks so different from my dead Mamma." "I know Byron, she isn't Editha."  
  
Jarod knew Editha? What's going on here?  
  
"But she is beautiful" I heard Byron's soft voice. "I like her blue eyes best." Than I heard Jarod chuckle. I couldn't wait to hear his response to it. "You know Byron, my little big man, that I am sure she would like you to tell her so. She is very sad that your bother died and that she wont be a good Mum to you."  
  
Than there was a pregnant break. I could believe that many things were going through the little head of Byron. My Byron. Maybe my Byron.  
  
"Will you stay with us Jarod?" he asked him. "I think Max doesn't want me to stay with you." "But I want you to stay. I love your pancakes. They look like animals." Both laughed. "Look Jarod, even Gilly loves them."  
  
He couldn't be feeding the baby with pancake - not even Jarod could do so. I saw myself cleaning up the kitchen after breakfast. Everything will be full of jelly and jam. Lovely. But on the other hand I could be sure that Byron was having fun with Jarod. But the fact that they were so familiar together bothered me a little. A little much.  
  
"Byron?" "Jarod?" he said and laughed. "Do you want to carry the tray?" "Sure" he said and giggled. God this boy was cute. And Jarod. Sweet. Both together - a dream.  
  
I heard small foods running into the room, stopping and slowly going to me. Stopping in front of me. Dana was still sleeping. But slowly she was waking up. Her fists partly in my pyjama top.  
  
"M.." I didn't let Byron say something. He had put the try on the coffee table and I pulled him into me. Dana was awake now and looking at him. I wasn't sure how much she was recognising around her now, but she was so cute. "C'mere Byron" I said and hugged him with one arm and pulled the blanket Jarod seemed to have put over me a little away.  
  
Than I saw Jarod standing in the frame of the kitchen door with Gillian in his arms. They looked like they were made for each other. Stay cool Parker - was the only thing I could tell myself.  
  
He came next to me, sat down where my legs rested. I pulled them up to let him in behind. Gillian was sleeping again. I was absolutely jealous for being asleep all day like her.  
  
"I called in Parker telling them you were sick." "Fine whatever." I said a little more sharply than I wanted. I didn't mean to hurt Jarod, not a little. "I spoke to your father." Jarod said and made a pause. "I seemed really to care about you. I told them I would be your doctor and that you have to stay in bed because you have fever, maybe a virus. He asked me if he should send somebody and I told him that this isn't necessary because I would come back in three hours. He said fine and thank you." "Wow, that's a lot for my father. I didn't know that he had ever learned the phrase thank you."  
  
Than I watched Jarod how he handled to put Gillian in the little grip next to him. I had bought a small one for downstairs, so that they are always around.  
  
The next thing he did . he wanted to grab Dana carefully but in the end he grabbed more a part of me, a part which was already more then sensitive. Did I moan? Maybe I cant swear I didn't. Jarod just stared at me, Byron stared at me. I didn't it. Fine. However.  
  
After a moment or two I took Dana carefully from my chest and handed it to Jarod. I think I was blushed dark red from my chest up to behind my ears. How embarrassing.  
  
"So want to have your coffee Ma." "Sure."  
  
I couldn't wait to hear him saying Mamma or Max. Somehow I really dreamed of him calling me Mamma but on the other hand .  
  
He handed me the hot mug and smiled at me. !  
  
"You did a great job." I told him and touched his soft little cheek.  
  
Good I he had touched me. And at night he had touched me. Jarod had touched me. My Jarod. My youth love Jarod. This Jarod. Jarod. I couldn't believe it. The hunted had touched the huntress intimately. God.  
  
What would they do if they would know that I love you? What would you do if you would know how much I adore you?  
  
~*~**~*~ END PART THREE ~*~**~*~  
  
want more? let me know: mary_eve_parker@yahoo.com 


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